What makes a woman attractive
A summary of the psychology research. The science of what most men find attractive in a woman
Author: Chris Blonk
Many articles give the layperson take on what makes a woman attractive to most men. We will instead summarize all the scientific research within the field of psychology that has been done to answer the question; what makes a woman attractive to men? We will only focus on the things you can change to make yourself more attractive to the majority of men. Your genetic looks, age, or plastic surgery is outside the scope of this article.
Warning!
Scientific studies usually emphasize average preferences. We know that preferences differ a lot between individuals, so no matter how you behave, or what you look like, there are men on this planet that will find you attractive. The advice here is how to make you more attractive to men on average. Not how to make you more attractive to one specific person. Men are not all the same, and they do not all prefer the same things. Men also differ in another important way:
There is a significant portion of men that don’t want to commit to a relationship, settle down, or marry. At least not at this time in their life. These men often make this decision independently of any woman in their lives. If a man doesn’t want to date you, doesn’t want to commit to you, or doesn’t want to marry you, it may be due to lack of attraction, but it could also just be his inherent preference and you’re looking for different things at this time. Therefore, if you’re single, you should be searching for the right guy.
Do most men prefer feminine women?
Some women who struggle with attracting men ask if they’re too masculine. Do men generally prefer feminine women? There are a few studies conducted to answer this question. In one study, 112 single students (56 women, 56 men) were randomly paired up. They were told that they were taking part in a study that involved personality, sexuality, and dating activities. At one point in the exercise, the man was instructed to disclose a recent negative personal event. The woman was told to listen and respond as she would normally.
After a 5-7 minute session of the man sharing his painful story, the man was taken aside and asked to rate the woman based on how responsive and understanding they found her to be, on various measures. They were also asked to rate the woman on a 5-point scale from masculine to feminine, and how attractive they found her. The same researchers conducted two more similar experiments, where they changed the methods used to try to eliminate various errors and biases. All three studies arrived at the same conclusion: “Men who perceived their female partners as more feminine also perceived them as more attractive.” This was connected to being seen as more responsive. Ie. better at listening, understanding, validating, emoting, etc. Or you may simply call it “being nice.” Why Do Men Prefer Nice Women? Gender Typicality Mediates the Effect of Responsiveness on Perceived Attractiveness in Initial Acquaintanceships.
Acting stereotypically feminine can make you appear more attractive to most men
How much makeup do most men prefer?
Women should wear makeup if they want to look their best. We know that in experiments, women who wear makeup are rated as more attractive than women that don’t. Cosmetics as a Feature of the Extended Human Phenotype: Modulation of the Perception of Biologically Important Facial Signals.
But how much makeup should you use? Probably less than you think. Women, on average, tend to think that men will prefer quite a lot of makeup. But when tested, men prefer less makeup than women expected. Men prefer a medium amount of makeup added (center image). Whereas women put on too much makeup (right image). Note; The faces are averaged between all participants, which is why the face looks a little bit weird in these photos. Men preferred 37% less makeup than what the women self-applied in the study to make themselves appear attractive for a night out. Miscalibrations in judgements of attractiveness with cosmetics.
Edited from source: Miscalibrations in judgements of attractiveness with cosmetics.
What type of body do most men prefer?
Several studies have shown that a waist-to-hip ratio of around 0.7 is the most attractive to men across cultures. Body Weight, Waist-to-Hip Ratio, "Breasts, and Hips: Role in Judgments of Female Attractiveness and Desirability for Relationships, and,
Is thin really beautiful and good? Relationship between waist-to-hip ratio (WHR) and female attractiveness. Men often use this in conjunction with how slender a woman is when deciding how attractive they find a female body. Here is how one of these studies presented images for men to rate. The red indicates which two shapes the average man in the study found the most attractive. That said, several men in the study preferred one of the other body types.
Always keep in mind we’re talking about average preferences here. There are significant interpersonal differences in what men like. So whatever shape you have, there are bound to be some men who find your body super sexy.
Here is another image showing the 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio compared to other ratios.
How to reduce your hip-to-waist ratio
Most women can reduce their hip-to-waist ratio. They can do so by changing dietary habits and making different lifestyle choices. It also comes down to how you exercise.
Food that reduces waist size
Diets that are high in fiber have been shown to reduce waist circumference. These diets are high in plants, fruits, berries, legumes, nuts, and whole grains, and low in soft drinks, sweets, processed meat, and margarine. Dietary patterns and changes in body mass index and waist circumference in adults. A fantastic, science-informed book on this topic is “How not to diet” by Michael Greger.
Exercise to reduce waist size
Avoid exercises that strengthen the core or stomach area. These exercises grow your abdominal muscles and make your waist seem thicker. There is a common myth out there called spot reduction. This myth states that you can remove fat from a particular area of the body by exercising the muscles where you want the fat to be removed. The idea is that more sit-ups and planks would also reduce the fat in the waist region. Spot reduction has been busted in many scientific studies.
The main thing that happens when you perform strength training is that the muscles you exercise get bigger and stronger. Fat is reduced all over your body when you exercise. Where the fat is removed is mostly genetically determined and not exercise-dependent. If you have fat around the midsection, exercising this area will grow the muscles there, pushing the fat outwards to make you seem bulkier, giving you a thicker waist. Instead, you want to exercise the whole body, minus your waist, to reduce your fat percentage. Your waist will shrink if your workouts are combined with a healthy diet.
Exercises to increase hip size
We can also exercise our hips to make them bigger, making the waist seem smaller by comparison and reducing our waist-to-hip ratio. Exercises focusing on heavy lifting for the glutes, quads, and hamstrings can develop muscle size in this area. It’s important to note that regular heavy lifting is needed. You should be training at a resistance level where you can only do between 5 and 20 repetitions if you try your hardest. If you can do more than 20 repetitions of any exercise, you’re probably exercising with too little resistance or weight. Most women in your average gym are not training with strong enough resistance to build any meaningful muscle. Some great exercises to grow this region are:
Getting intimate & flirty
Let’s talk about sex and flirting. Many long-term relationships start with casual sex before eventually becoming serious. So it goes without saying that men in these circumstances also evaluate what you bring to the bedroom. So what do they like when it comes to increasing intimacy and flirting? A few findings stand out from the research.
Most men want to feel desired
In one study, 300 male participants between ages 18 and 65 who had been sexual within the past six months were asked about their sexual preferences. What did they find? 94.6% of men indicated that feeling desired was very important or extremely important. I Want You to Want Me: A Qualitative Analysis of Heterosexual Men's Desire to Feel Desired in Intimate Relationships
How can you make a man feel desired?
Luckily, the study also asked this question. Here are the responses, indicating the percentage of men who noted the following:
34%: Touch him romantically
30%: Initiate sexual talk / dirty talk
28%: Initiate sex
19%: Be an enthusiastic partner during sex
17%: Give him compliments
14%: Flirting with looks or sexually suggestive behavior
Drop the business outfits when your goal is to get romantic male attention
In a study on what type of clothing men find attractive, men rated women in casual clothing significantly more attractive than women who wore business attire. You can see how the pictures of the women in the study were presented to the male subjects below. While business attire may be a requirement or expectation in the workplace, and it may lead to better work opportunities, it’s probably a good idea to sport a more casual vibe when you’re going out to socialize with men you like.
The Interplay Between Economic Status and Attractiveness, and the Importance of Attire in Mate Choice Judgments
Do you want to know if men find septum rings attractive on women? We conducted two experiments to find out, which you can read more about here.
Most men find happy women more attractive
In a study of how attractive we perceive someone else to be when they display different emotions, men rated a woman showing stereotypical happiness as more attractive than if she had a neutral expression. So if you want men to notice you, smiling their way may be a good idea. The median score women received for “sexual attractiveness” on the happy picture was 6/10. Compare that to the neutral expression, which scored 5/10. If you want to attract more men, you may try to make yourself happy in various ways, such as spending time with friends, going out in nature, or engaging in a hobby, sport, or other activities you enjoy.
Source: Happy Guys Finish Last: The Impact on Emotion Expressions on Sexual Attraction
Too long, did not read
So what makes a woman attractive according to psychology research? Men, on average, see women as more attractive when they;
Are happy and smiling
Have a slim waist compared to their thighs and glutes
Make the guy feel desired by flirting, touching, and showing sexual interest
Behave stereotypically feminine by being attentive, friendly, and responsive
Wear casual clothing instead of business attire
Wear lighter make-up
